Should women stay home? Men or women

[SummerHarvest]

Is it biblical for a woman to stay home? I have always believed that the bible would have us stay home.
Titus 2:3 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4: That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5: To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

I understand there are circumstances where this is not possible. I think even in Christian circles this is changing. It seems to be acceptable for women with young children to stay home. However, once the children hit teen years not so much.

Yesterday at church, a woman asked my husband why I don't just go to work. She is a Christian woman who has been saved for over 25 years. She suggested that he stay home and home school our daughter. This same woman even stated that I am being mean to my husband and daughter by not working. To be frank not one woman has encouraged me to continue staying home. Many have told me where I can find employment. (I have started looking for stay-at-home employment.)

I have helped over the years. The first 10 years of our marriage I babysat from our home anywhere from 4-12 children. Then we moved and I volunteered at a Christian school for a year. At the end of that year the Lord showed me that it would be better for my home and my children if I were home. So I home schooled for two years (my children and others). Then we moved back to Nevada at which time I went to work out of the house as a health care provider. This was a mistake, my daughter was shot during this time (within three months) Which wouldn't have happened if I was home. So I had to work an additional 3 years to try to pay for her bills. (a waste of time her medical bills were too high and we filed bankruptcy) Then my company closed. So I went back to staying home (31/2 years now), and back to homeschooling and a new surprise, our daughter was way behind in school.(they were in our Church's Christian school) it took two years to catch her up.

So here I am feeling guilty for staying home. Thinking maybe I am the one all mixed up. I have never heard a sermon on this what i always here is it up to the husband. My conviction and my husbands is different. So am I allowed to have this conviction if my husband doesn't. He is OK with me having a job at home which is what I am trying to do.

I put this in the Ladies section, but I don't care who replies.

[IM4given]

You are the keeper at home, as God states that you should be. You are biblically correct.

Titus 2:3 "The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4: That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5: To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."


Your husband is the provider for the family, as God states that he should be. Those who disagree with that, have never read the rest of 1 Timothy:

1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

It is important that your family learn to live within your husbands income - that is where the real trick is, and to learn how to budget, avoid luxuries if necessary to do so. If you have learned how to do this, then that is wonderful. What ever money you can earn can help to supplement the family and give them some of their "wants" while your husband provides for their needs.

You should NEVER EVER feel guilty about staying home and taking your place in the family as God has planned. I would even go so far to say that those who would say different, is following after the "women's liberation movent" and hates the roles that God has given to women.

Often it means you have to have a little vegetable garden in the back yard ($10 worth of seed will grow $100 worth of vegetables), or you have to learn how to sew (the off-the rack stuff at Wal Mart is designed by sodomites and sewn by slave labor in foriegn countries anyways), or you have to cook meals from "scratch" (way better for you and your family than all the pre-packaged junk food in the stores ) - and all of those other things that feminist women despise. You are a valuable member of your family and your sacrafice to stay at home with your children and your husband is the ULTIMATE sacrafice that a Christian woman can make and shows the world that you follow God and not the World. You are God's Handmaiden, not your Husband's Doormat - so do not let other women put you down for doing what the Bible instructs women to do.

My mother's generation thought it was absolutely AWFUL for a woman to abandon her family responsibilites to go work at a job outside the home - and now today's world has become full circle - the feminists have "won" and the families are the ones who suffer.

[SummerHarvest]

I guess I didn't make myself clear. I wasn't asking budgeting advice. My husband has been out of work for some time. We live very frugal. I will try to post an admendment to make myself clearer. I think I am getting everything confussed with asking more than one question at a time.

[IM4given]

Quote:I guess I didn't make myself clear. I wasn't asking budgeting advice. My husband has been out of work for some time. We live very frugal. I will try to post an admendment to make myself clearer. I think I am getting everything confussed with asking more than one question at a time.

I am sorry Summer Harvest, I thought I was posting in support and agreement with you. Are you asking if it is scriptually permitted for women to work outside the home?

I didn't think I was offering budgeting advice - I actually enjoyed gardening, sewing, and cooking for my family - it was the delight of my life. Unfortunately my ex said I wasn't "pulling my wieght" and insisted that I go to work - so I put my babies in daycare and I went to work. I hated every minute of it, but at the end of each month for 12 years I turned over my paycheck to keep peace in the family. When I got sick and the paychecks stopped coming in, he was done with me and went to find someone else.

[SummerHarvest]

I am sorry you went through that. I am sure God will bless you for your obedience to your husband. I am just defensive. I was really hurt yesterday. I have been trying hard to be a blessing to my husband. I do grow a garden, can, my mom sews my daughters cloths. I always cook from scratch and we don't owe any bills except our house payment. But we still have to pay for the gas, electric, water, trash and so on. I have had pressure to go out and find work to help Danny, especially from my family. That doesn't surprise me because most of them aren't saved and the ones that are aren't fundamental. I am looking for a job that I can do at home. But that hasn't been successful. What confuses me it when women in the church suggest I go to work. (men never talk to other men about their wives) They find me outside employment. They have even suggested I put my 14 year old in public school. They always say it will be only for a little while. I have never had anyone support me in doing what I believe to be the will of our Lord staying home. I never talk about Danny being out of work and never bring up our needs. I am a very priviate person. When they suggest a job I just say I don't have time to work outside the home with homeschooling my daughter. I have got to the point where I am afraid to ask for prayer. For fear that they will think if I really was serious I would go out and get a job.

Please forgive my rudeness. My reaction was rude.

I just thought it was a biblical principal. you know to stay home. But honestly I have never herd a sermon that has said women should stay home. Most preachers say it's between a husband and a wife.

I thought we were suppose to support each other to do what God would have us do. Weather it be read our bible daily or support a woman staying home. You know sense my husband has been laid off not one person has come to our house and asked if they could pray with us. I guess I am just blue today

[IM4given]

i think that since my divorce i have relied very heavily on the Lord supplying all my needs - i have prayed for food and a knock on the door would bring me a sack of grocieries from a local church food ministry - i prayed over a stack of bills and an unexpected check would arrive in the mail the very next day! i prayed for a job and the phone rang 5 minutes later and a woman was offering me a job i had not even applied for (it fizzled out after two weeks - but oh well - it was an answered prayer none the less). the Lord has been very good to me in these last seven years - i am grateful for His mercy and forgiveness, because i do not deserve His love.

where two or three are gathered together ... i will be praying for your husband who has been laid off and for you too. remember that God is with you always, even if you don't "feel" his precense He is there!

[Jim]

Summerharvest,

I am going to post two peoples' views here. First, my wife's. Her heart broke for you when she read your post. I am to tell you that she has also been through this (as I am sort of unemployed, trying to start my own business, and also may be given employment in security soon). Since losing my job in Sept 26th, it had never crossed my mind to let her get a part-time job. I knew the Lord would take care of us. My wife knows, according to scripture that you have already posted, that her position is here at home, since she is married. Of course single women have another choice.

Quote:Yesterday at church, a woman asked my husband why I don't just go to work. She is a Christian woman who has been saved for over 25 years. She suggested that he stay home and home school our daughter. This same woman even stated that I am being mean to my husband and daughter by not working. To be frank not one woman has encouraged me to continue staying home. Many have told me where I can find employment. (I have started looking for stay-at-home employment.)

Knowing scripture like you have posted, I say you are in the right, and these women telling you otherwise, are obviously wrong. The greatest blessing you can give your family is serving at home. It seems like these people who are giving you "advice" are more in tune to tradition, compromise, the contemporary movement, or are just backslidden. Either way, they are not praying before "recommending", and are certainly not being an encouragement to you.

If your husband is in the Lord's will, then whatever God's reasoning for having you in the position you are in is for God's purpose. I am not saying that it is God's will that your husband be out of work, but you never know, it may be that you won't even have to worry about it, if the rapture is right around the corner, which I believe to be true.

I have one recommendation:

If you are not already doing it, prove God.

Get on your knees every single day with your husband, and pray, getting serious with God about His provision.

Quote:James 5:16 ...The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Phil 4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

That sweet hour of prayer will not only benefit your material needs and financial needs, but it will completely take away the stress and worry f what seems to be the case. ALWAYS remember that you are a child of the King, and nothing can take that away from you. Whatever the case may be, or seems to be, it is usually satan putting thoughts in your head and fears that are unfounded.

During our extreme financial duress recently (over the past 4 months), the Lord gave me such peace, that I wasn't even worried about what we would do when we lost our house (still a possibility). But you know what?

Quote:Hebrews 13:6
So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

Quote:Matt 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
6:26
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

What disturbs me greatly is the fact that the people at your church are not being an encouragement to you. That is a sin. We are to uphold one another in prayer and encouragement. That really bothers me to see that happening. It bothers me so much, I would even go so far as to confront them about it, show them the scripture which shows you are doing right, and make them understand clearly that what you are doing truly honors the Lord.

In a nutshell, your staying at home, taking care of the home, and schooling the children is your God-given task. Also, another task is for you and your husband to really get into blood-coverd prayer. Get serious with the Lord and prove Him. Plead the blood. I say, plead the blood.

We will keep you in our prayers.

Love in Christ,

Jim

[Jim]

IM4given,

what you posted is a wonderful testimony. When we seek prayerful time and dedication, God answers prayer and performs miracles.

Summerharvest, I am not saying that you are not doing this. If you are, continue it, that is what changes things.

Love in Christ,

Jim

[SummerHarvest]

Thank you for your encouraging words; your testimonies are wonderful; Both of you. (your wifes too)
I don't want our church to look unkind. When we go to church on Sunday and Wednesday night the men do ask Danny if he has found a job and they do say that they will pray. Our preacher has talked to Dan on the phone and at church. They have brought food and even gave us some money. I guess I just am a cry baby today to think that they have time to come to our house.
Theresa

[Jim]

Quote:I don't want our church to look unkind.

Yes, after posting what I posted, I was thinking I may have been too quick to judge these people. I just hold the body of the church as an extremely important aspect of encouragement, ad feel it is critical for them to be as absolutely supportive as possible.

I am sorry about that.

Love in Christ,

Jim

[SummerHarvest]

You were working off the information that I provided.... I am thankful for your input and so was my husband, I let him read this thread. It was encouraging to him. He allowed me to be on this site, but sense he isn't registered he doesn't read it.

Theresa

[HappyChristian]

Summer, this is a relatively old thread, but I just wanted to add a thought...(of course, by now your hubby may have a job...)

One of the things that many people, including good Christian women, seem to forget is that each man is the head of his own particular home. His decisions are the ones to be followed. My question to you is - has your hubby asked you to seek work? If not, there is your answer to your friends who ask questions or make suggestions that they maybe shouldn't!!! Simply put, if your husband wants you at home instead of in the workplace (even if he's without a job), then that is what you must do.

It is Biblical for a woman to stay home. There are times when that is not possible, and it is between the man and his wife what is done about it - not anyone else, unless they seek godly counsel.

It sounds like you have been being a wonderful help meet for your husband. And I am sure that both your hubby and your children will arise and call you blessed!

Remember, too, that the folks who have made comments and suggestions to you are most likely simply trying to help. Help that is centered wrongly, but help nonetheless.

And I sure hope that, if not by now, your hubby gets a job real soon!

[Jim]

Amen HappyChristian.

[SummerHarvest]

He hasn't got a job yet, but we are hopeful. Thanks Theresa

[Jim]

Stay hopeful. To give an update, I have been working part-time security, along with starting a business, and getting it moving. No real income as of yet, but I feel the Lord is going to bless. Just stay in the Lord and His obedience, as He is always faithful to us.

I don't want to start an Obama bash on this thread, there are plenty of others for it, but I do want to say that I warned of this happening this year over two years ago. I believe he is in office to perpetuate the prophecy of God's plan. I believe the economic collapse of America, or something similar has to happen for us to stop supporting Israel, and then they will be alone. The rest is pretty obvious.

So PLEASE do not lose hope, I beleive we are going to be present during one of the greatest miracles short of Christ's sacrifice and resurrection.

"Therefore comfort one another with these words..."

Love in Christ,

Jim